Former child television star's tell all book details sex for drugs as the reality of much of her life, until settling down and letting go of the celebrity dream. In her case, cocaine.
Sex is, in itself, a drug. Paralyzing and shaking, shattering and compelling. Life can slip through the cracks and crevices as we hunt for that one perfect thing, turning us aside from the one true thing which is in front of us.
Reality is also, a drug. Virtual or analog, feeling ourselves flow into the ebb and crest of events, trying to find some moment where we merge with it, and when we act, it reacts as we expect it to. That is what pleasure is for, to train us to meld with something else. Sexual pleasure, or pleasure in doing.
Which is why drugs work, they let people cut across this and get to the chemical moment itself, by passing the moment of flow, to get to the moment of glow.
When I searched for "sex" in google news I got articles on equal marriage, and a stream of articles on child sex convictions or allegations. It was a stark separation: people who just want to live their lives as their lives, and people who are cursed with a disease that they cater to, and in so doing destroy young lives.
The power of pleasure means that we would give up everything for scraps of it, or even more, for others to experience scraps of it at our hands. Or be willing to kill someone, body and spirit, to have it.
This is SL, we traffic in pleasure, and it can be the kind which builds or destroys too. I talked to someone who I met early in SL, she was the friend of a friend, and clearly very lonely. She's found someone, she hopes, that will make things work for her rl. They talk all the time, they are partners in sl. She is floating with happiness. SL can do that. Create a space which clears away the clutter of distance or even separations considered greater in analog life, and open a conduit where we act, and the other reacts, and there is pleasure, and the dance begins.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Witchcraft and the erotic
Greer reviews a book on witchcraft and witch hunts. She finds it shallow, and touches on the question of witchcraft and witch hunting having it's roots in misogyny. If so, why are we so willing to use it in application to other things that are not related to gender. I don't disagree that witch hunts are targeted at pounding down women more than men, though there are ample cases of accusations of supernatural evil doing against groups of men. But the practice of creating more ordinary black magic adheres, both in myth and in the pseudo-judiciary of other ages, to women.
These two parts, the relationship of the root to women, and the broader application to a genderless body of "them" struck me on reading a novel "Let Me In." It has been made into a film, and its focal point is a child-vampire and the boy who falls in love with her, and the complex fall out of the results of their entanglement. Blood death is feminine, and the fear the women of blood, and hence the dark side of fertility, is very deep.
This depth of fear, of the dark side of blood, is connected with not only our role as life givers, but our role as survivors. Disease generally spares more of us, than men. This and other factors related to the nature of biology of women, are linked with the social factors, of power, dominance, and the need to control bloodlines. Generally analysis tries to make this flow one way. But that's wrong. Human beings have been gathered in groups, stalked by disease, seeking power and reproductive advantage, since, well, before we were human.
This means that the biology and the societal aspects that make the suspicion of the older or outcast woman as what feminist theory calls "the other," grew up together. The bands of primates, their struggles for advantage, position, survival, lead to violent acts. Gorilla males kill infants from before their rise to power. Is it so strange then that we, primates, kill out of primal drives which find expression and excuse, even if those expressions are irrational? The patina of rationality, or at least narrative coherence, on the madness of blood lust, is a better theory than trying to have some sort of generative etiology of the witch hunt.
May be I should back up there. Often what primates do out of deep evolutionary drives doesn't make "sense" in that it has no reasonable chain. It works, on average, and that is why it evolved. That doesn't mean that every specific thing works, or confers an advantage, only that it is part of a complex of behaviors that on average, does. So, for example, bouts of homocidal rage may seem inexplicable, but they may well just be the down side of a kind of immune response which does.
Let me take an example. On average, women have much better immune systems than me. Diseases, other than those associated with reproduction and child birth, kill men more than they do women. However, that doesn't mean that the women who survive aren't infected, but merely that they have fought off the onslaught of the illness. Now think about the woman without children, especially older. She is, on average, likely to be the source of infection. A trop towards expelling such women who do not conform to the social group could well, on average, work as a survival trait. Even if it is irrational and wrong on specific cases, and irrational and wrong in our more symbolic society. A million years of being walking apes, will not be erased by our much shorter history of society.
So that's what struck me about the book, and I think it makes me want to see the film: the interwoven nature of human beings, where the negative traits and the positive ones are intertwined by biology, personal need, and society. All of which are locked in a deathly and ghostly embrace.
But let me finish the thought finally. The same things that make the outsider woman a danger, make her a prize. She possesses genetics or knowledge or both that, if woven into the fabric of the community, are valuable. This is why so many legends focus on bringing in the faerie to the community, and the role of the fertility goddess even in a nominally patriarchal monotheism.
This makes the witch not only an object of fear and loathing, but one of both power and desire, a priestess as much as a demoness. And more alluring for both. Men don't just burn witches, they burn for them.
These two parts, the relationship of the root to women, and the broader application to a genderless body of "them" struck me on reading a novel "Let Me In." It has been made into a film, and its focal point is a child-vampire and the boy who falls in love with her, and the complex fall out of the results of their entanglement. Blood death is feminine, and the fear the women of blood, and hence the dark side of fertility, is very deep.
This depth of fear, of the dark side of blood, is connected with not only our role as life givers, but our role as survivors. Disease generally spares more of us, than men. This and other factors related to the nature of biology of women, are linked with the social factors, of power, dominance, and the need to control bloodlines. Generally analysis tries to make this flow one way. But that's wrong. Human beings have been gathered in groups, stalked by disease, seeking power and reproductive advantage, since, well, before we were human.
This means that the biology and the societal aspects that make the suspicion of the older or outcast woman as what feminist theory calls "the other," grew up together. The bands of primates, their struggles for advantage, position, survival, lead to violent acts. Gorilla males kill infants from before their rise to power. Is it so strange then that we, primates, kill out of primal drives which find expression and excuse, even if those expressions are irrational? The patina of rationality, or at least narrative coherence, on the madness of blood lust, is a better theory than trying to have some sort of generative etiology of the witch hunt.
May be I should back up there. Often what primates do out of deep evolutionary drives doesn't make "sense" in that it has no reasonable chain. It works, on average, and that is why it evolved. That doesn't mean that every specific thing works, or confers an advantage, only that it is part of a complex of behaviors that on average, does. So, for example, bouts of homocidal rage may seem inexplicable, but they may well just be the down side of a kind of immune response which does.
Let me take an example. On average, women have much better immune systems than me. Diseases, other than those associated with reproduction and child birth, kill men more than they do women. However, that doesn't mean that the women who survive aren't infected, but merely that they have fought off the onslaught of the illness. Now think about the woman without children, especially older. She is, on average, likely to be the source of infection. A trop towards expelling such women who do not conform to the social group could well, on average, work as a survival trait. Even if it is irrational and wrong on specific cases, and irrational and wrong in our more symbolic society. A million years of being walking apes, will not be erased by our much shorter history of society.
So that's what struck me about the book, and I think it makes me want to see the film: the interwoven nature of human beings, where the negative traits and the positive ones are intertwined by biology, personal need, and society. All of which are locked in a deathly and ghostly embrace.
But let me finish the thought finally. The same things that make the outsider woman a danger, make her a prize. She possesses genetics or knowledge or both that, if woven into the fabric of the community, are valuable. This is why so many legends focus on bringing in the faerie to the community, and the role of the fertility goddess even in a nominally patriarchal monotheism.
This makes the witch not only an object of fear and loathing, but one of both power and desire, a priestess as much as a demoness. And more alluring for both. Men don't just burn witches, they burn for them.
4495 + 987 = 1
With all of the worries in the outside world, with all of the fears about the markets and the economy, with the increasing worries about homes and bail outs, there is something that should not be forgotten. Overseas, even now, men and women are fighting and dying in military uniform in Afghanistan and Iraq. Some 4495 in Iraq and 987 in Afghanistan. They are being crowded to the background by other worries.
They used to say they wanted the boys home by Christmas. We just need them home, and home remembered and not forgotten. As with many things they served to serve, and the arguments over whether we should have been in the war are not on their shoulders, but on ours. We sent them there, they went because they had promised to do so. In a world where bankers are tossing trillion dollar promises away like confetti, it would be good to remember that soldiers and sailors and marines have served for less than many people make, and have given all and everything for that promise.
We have made promises to them too. Let us hope we, all of the we in every nation involved, fill them with the same faithfulness.
They used to say they wanted the boys home by Christmas. We just need them home, and home remembered and not forgotten. As with many things they served to serve, and the arguments over whether we should have been in the war are not on their shoulders, but on ours. We sent them there, they went because they had promised to do so. In a world where bankers are tossing trillion dollar promises away like confetti, it would be good to remember that soldiers and sailors and marines have served for less than many people make, and have given all and everything for that promise.
We have made promises to them too. Let us hope we, all of the we in every nation involved, fill them with the same faithfulness.
Porn, blessing or curse?
This one made me laugh out loud.
Listed as a con for porn:
"Promotes promiscuity, especially in teenagers."
No survey shows this in any reliable way.
"Encourages extramarital sex, thus undermining the institution of marriage."
No survey shows this in any reliable way.
Porn, like any form of expression, spoken, written, visual, or some combination of these, is like any other. It is both a blessing and a curse, and it can't be judged as a category, any more than murder mysteries encourage people to go out and kill people.
We should recognize every form of expression as sacred, while at the same time relentlessly critiquing each act of expression. Though I have to say that I could do without spam.
Listed as a con for porn:
"Promotes promiscuity, especially in teenagers."
No survey shows this in any reliable way.
"Encourages extramarital sex, thus undermining the institution of marriage."
No survey shows this in any reliable way.
Porn, like any form of expression, spoken, written, visual, or some combination of these, is like any other. It is both a blessing and a curse, and it can't be judged as a category, any more than murder mysteries encourage people to go out and kill people.
We should recognize every form of expression as sacred, while at the same time relentlessly critiquing each act of expression. Though I have to say that I could do without spam.
Department of D'uh
Early sex education is good.
Really. Next we will learn that we should teach young children to count and learn to read.
Right now every child gets lots of sex education, on how to look, act, talk. From advertising and television and images. Children are sponges. Is it so bad to try and get a little bit of info in with all the tainment?
Really. Next we will learn that we should teach young children to count and learn to read.
Right now every child gets lots of sex education, on how to look, act, talk. From advertising and television and images. Children are sponges. Is it so bad to try and get a little bit of info in with all the tainment?
They should do this one in second life
Tim Miller's performance art to be done at the start of conference.
International performance artist Tim Miller will open California Institute of Integral Studies' (CIIS) Queer Bodies in Psychotherapy Conference with a special performance of "Sex/Body/Self" on Friday, October 17, 7:00 PM, at the Hotel Whitcomb in San Francisco. Tickets for the evening, which is open to the general public, are $25. For more information or to register, call CIIS Public Programs at 415.575.6165 or register online at CISS.
MO man gets death in sex murder case
videotaped the woman he murdered.
Not a believer in the death penalty. But they can't find a pit deep enough to toss these people into as far as I am concerned.
Not a believer in the death penalty. But they can't find a pit deep enough to toss these people into as far as I am concerned.
I want to write more but I have to get going to class, there are thoughts whirling and churning in my head that haven't reached my fingers, quite, yet. Or something.
Anyway, I've been spending huge amounts of time on footnoting and editing the last few months, and the same impulses that made me want to come here and write in the first place, the liberation from being tied in with the acceptable ways of writing and speaking, are bubbling again. Stories are suggesting themselves.
Also things are bubbling in SL. I have reports on interop, ad farms, and other things, and they need to be written up.
But time is opening up, the students have sort of accepted the fact that, yes, they need to do the required work, and yes, I am watching them. (my habit: walk around the lecture hall while talking. I had one person playing an MMO in class. I had them stop, plug the computer into the projector, and show everyone the scene. I started talking about how it was made, and where the ideas and techniques came from. There was a certain amount of mortification, because ... hmmm ... his character had a rather round bubble butt. I'll leave it at that....)
Anyway, I've been spending huge amounts of time on footnoting and editing the last few months, and the same impulses that made me want to come here and write in the first place, the liberation from being tied in with the acceptable ways of writing and speaking, are bubbling again. Stories are suggesting themselves.
Also things are bubbling in SL. I have reports on interop, ad farms, and other things, and they need to be written up.
But time is opening up, the students have sort of accepted the fact that, yes, they need to do the required work, and yes, I am watching them. (my habit: walk around the lecture hall while talking. I had one person playing an MMO in class. I had them stop, plug the computer into the projector, and show everyone the scene. I started talking about how it was made, and where the ideas and techniques came from. There was a certain amount of mortification, because ... hmmm ... his character had a rather round bubble butt. I'll leave it at that....)
National Coming out day
National coming out day post from Pam.
Everyone is in the closet about something, so come out, or help a friend come out, and just live your life the way you want to.
Everyone is in the closet about something, so come out, or help a friend come out, and just live your life the way you want to.
Friday, October 10, 2008
University looks into Sex in Second Life
though it seems in an unsystematic way.
Hint, the thing to do is set up a script and situation, and then log the results. I've done this, and the result is data, not anecdotes.
Hint, the thing to do is set up a script and situation, and then log the results. I've done this, and the result is data, not anecdotes.
CT supreme court equalizes marriage
Overturns lower court 4-3
It is important that California voters defeat question 8, which is attempting to restrict marriage in that state.
Every vote counts, because every marriage counts.
The Connecticut Supreme Court ruled on Friday that same-sex couples have the right to marry, reversing a lower court decision that had concluded that the civil unions legalized in the state three years ago offered the same rights and benefits as
It is important that California voters defeat question 8, which is attempting to restrict marriage in that state.
Every vote counts, because every marriage counts.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
On Ad Farms
There was a meeting on the ad farm rules today, unfortunately I was doing work for SL, and could not be there. There is an effort by a few land barons to hurl invective on this situation, and to make it seem as if all large land barons are against the efforts to control and limit the use of land griefing and ad farms. They don't speak for us here, and we are, in fact, supportive of these efforts and more dramatic steps to improve mainland experience for all users.
I've written a great deal about this topic, for some time, there isn't much more to say other than it needs to be done, and quickly.
I've written a great deal about this topic, for some time, there isn't much more to say other than it needs to be done, and quickly.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Rivers of Eden
Mine eyes, my eyes are teared with dust and grit,
at all the ages I have cried for you, alone and cried.
My eyes bleed the truth of you, for all that I have seen.
Is this all, for me to be left standing and staring
out an open door, as you trod to regions left unknown.
Where was once my happiness,
in the glorious noon of your love.
Where was then? Where now am I?
Having lost my self and soul into you.
Having fallen like arch angel from heavans dark,
into the land, that you promised,
of my fertility.
Where was then? Where, o where,
Where was then? Where am I now?
Where are the lush gardens you whispered of,
grown by touch of your hand?
Where is the ripening of the seed?
Where is any or all of it?
What is it that vanished illusion that I saw?
Where flowed the rivers of mine,
into desert Eden?
Where is it now? And what was it ever then,
only mirage and mirrored of the life.
Oh my eyes, bliss driven to agony, tears torrent
are that left in the light of ecstatic twilight,
that is scraped with ecliptic dusk.
Oh my eyes, they are see through dust and tears,
when once they were open blind.
Where is it now? It is where it was then.
In something called, something called,
a dream.
Let me sleep and dream of you.
Nothing but of you, nothing else for you.
It was all for you.
I can think of nothing but your locks asleep,
all ready in home and keep.
What once, what once, where.
Where oh where are you now?
at all the ages I have cried for you, alone and cried.
My eyes bleed the truth of you, for all that I have seen.
Is this all, for me to be left standing and staring
out an open door, as you trod to regions left unknown.
Where was once my happiness,
in the glorious noon of your love.
Where was then? Where now am I?
Having lost my self and soul into you.
Having fallen like arch angel from heavans dark,
into the land, that you promised,
of my fertility.
Where was then? Where, o where,
Where was then? Where am I now?
Where are the lush gardens you whispered of,
grown by touch of your hand?
Where is the ripening of the seed?
Where is any or all of it?
What is it that vanished illusion that I saw?
Where flowed the rivers of mine,
into desert Eden?
Where is it now? And what was it ever then,
only mirage and mirrored of the life.
Oh my eyes, bliss driven to agony, tears torrent
are that left in the light of ecstatic twilight,
that is scraped with ecliptic dusk.
Oh my eyes, they are see through dust and tears,
when once they were open blind.
Where is it now? It is where it was then.
In something called, something called,
a dream.
Let me sleep and dream of you.
Nothing but of you, nothing else for you.
It was all for you.
I can think of nothing but your locks asleep,
all ready in home and keep.
What once, what once, where.
Where oh where are you now?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Soul Mountain
Archangel wings of prayer flow fire,
and leave us not forgotten.
Where have you come to us this moment
alighting and then fleeing to streaked heavans lost.
Why were your prophecies made to ridicule?
Why are you lost to us.
And yet you are so soon gone.
With which what and where we have
we have forsaken all.
Ribboned to ruins a rules and left
a Republic only of reminders.
Force fire and fear are our foes,
but they are our lords and masters.
From this day let me cleanse all hope illusion,
there is no life but the air I breathe,
there is no history but from these hands I make,
carved in cinder sided steles
that are the teeth of soul mountain,
whose roots run to the depths of our creation,
and have not been worn in a billion years.
They sneer upon all our epochs, depth,
as you, Archangel,
flee far upward,
leaving us behind to wonder and to gaze
at your coming and passing.
There is no life but the air I breath,
There is soul but the history carved on me
in this moment.
We must struggle now,
for not to breath is not to be.
If our voices are now lost,
then we will not have been at all.
and leave us not forgotten.
Where have you come to us this moment
alighting and then fleeing to streaked heavans lost.
Why were your prophecies made to ridicule?
Why are you lost to us.
And yet you are so soon gone.
With which what and where we have
we have forsaken all.
Ribboned to ruins a rules and left
a Republic only of reminders.
Force fire and fear are our foes,
but they are our lords and masters.
From this day let me cleanse all hope illusion,
there is no life but the air I breathe,
there is no history but from these hands I make,
carved in cinder sided steles
that are the teeth of soul mountain,
whose roots run to the depths of our creation,
and have not been worn in a billion years.
They sneer upon all our epochs, depth,
as you, Archangel,
flee far upward,
leaving us behind to wonder and to gaze
at your coming and passing.
There is no life but the air I breath,
There is soul but the history carved on me
in this moment.
We must struggle now,
for not to breath is not to be.
If our voices are now lost,
then we will not have been at all.
Precipice
I the news feed it talks about the bailout bill getting a second life. I know that this is the most ironic thing I can think of, because many of us are working here to create opposition, if not to passage, then to the world that the bail out bill comes from.
It is a strange mix of far left and far right that sees through this charade, with the center standing on the street corner trying to hail a 700 billion dollar cab.
There is no second act after this, it will be out into the unknown.
It is a strange mix of far left and far right that sees through this charade, with the center standing on the street corner trying to hail a 700 billion dollar cab.
There is no second act after this, it will be out into the unknown.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
MMO Glider Loses Lawsuit in WoW case.
Many of my friends are talking about this, and I am not sure what it means for SL, but clearly there has to be some relationship to the ways people access games.
That and it shows that there is something perverse about a game that people want to skip the game part of the game.
That and it shows that there is something perverse about a game that people want to skip the game part of the game.
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