A year ago, I started this blog. It's been, yes, a year of this.
I promised there would be sex, and I think I've lived up to that. Not a daily sex column kind of sex, but about all the ways that sex informs our identity here and in second life. I've tried to write about the club world and the direct sex industry, which I've been part of, with a candor that I wasn't finding. I have written, a great deal about how there is a volcanic craving for sex and affection in rl, which translates to here. I've taken on such things as rape play, sexism, yiffing, escorting, and the boundaries of rl.
Very few people read this blog at first, it was weeks, often before anything was noticed. And the blog changed. I didn't think I was going to post over 30 poems, the first act of a musical, or articles on building. I wasn't a builder when I started this, and did not even know what say, a huge prim was.
I didn't know I was going to be building avatars for rl people.
I didn't know many things.
I've seen my crop of newbies get fabulous... just take a look at Elusyve's evolution. And being in the island renting business? A single sim seemed hopelessly out of reach.
It's also time for changes. I didn't come to sl to be an escort. I've tried to escape many times, and kept falling back in because the money is always there, and I know that without escorting, I'd be a chick with a thing for marble and rococo masters... But I've got to get out of it, or rather.... no or rather. I've tried to lobby for certain things, more sanity in how SL's economy is run, more entry paths for players, and my being an escort is part of that old insanity.
So here it is. One year, a blogiversary, and a time to say good bye to being an active escort. I've done all with it I can, and I don't want to run a club.
On the other hand, the topic here remains sexual identity, not in the narrow sense of having sex, but on the broader sense of sex. You see, biologists keep asking, "why sex?" The answer over and over turns out to be that sex is how life rips apart and recombines, remakes, rebuilds, tests, overturns, spreads, sorts out, joins together. And that means any time we do any of those things, we are doing what four billion years of physical life has taught us to do, even when we build, and move into, virtual worlds. Gender is part of sex, but so is everything we do that remakes ourselves, and the world around us.
This larger sense of sex is what still fascinates me, and what still is brought to a crest in moments when we give ourselves over to desire. How long will I keep doing this? I don't know. But as long as it is, it is a blog about,