Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A Moment

Second Life has its magic moments. I think almost any cult status activity lives and dies by two things, one is the sense of wonder of just being there, that thrill of looking around, and realizing that you are in another world. I've heard it called "Toto, we aren't in Kansas any more." The other is the vivid and magic moment, that stands out from all the others, burns its way instantly into the memory, and colors the whole time of your life around it. The days seem whiter or greener or redder, because that is the color of that one moment.

Sex, RL, is a cult activity. The first part is just the realization of "hey! I'm having Sex!" or are about to have sex, or have just had sex. You wipe the effluvia tricking down your thigh's post sex and say "I've just been... fucked!" as the endorphins stretch the sides of your consciousness.

Then there is the magic moment of sex, something that the other person says or does, or a particular combination of sensations. Everyone as they develop a sexual.... hmmmm history is wrong.... I want to say life, but I mean that in the same sense as "life on Earth," in the sense of a sexual ecology.... Any way a sexual world within themselves, acquires those particular moments where the whole universe turns, stops, and there is an overwhelming wall of a sensation. First times are often part of this, which is why the magic moments that are not first times stand out so powerfully.

I can remember one time, I did not want to have sex with him, we had ended the affair, were in that phase of calling it "just friends," which was really a college way of saying that we were sliding out of each others lives. It was a hot May, everyone was happy to trot out their shortest shorts or summer gear. He did too. It didn't move me, even though he was trying, getting into my personal space, reminding me how hot it was by the sense of the heat and radiant sweat that flowed around his person. It was like the sense of heat rising off a hot road on a long drive when as a child, you were taken to visit some distant relative. I was being non-responsive, even a bit sullen. Not sexy catty "come and get me," but that kind of bear it because on your inside your mother is watching and it would be rude to say something that would cause upset.

But there was a moment where he walked into the shared bathroom that connected two dorm rooms, and his shorts rose up on the curve of his left him, exposing just a stretch of very toned muscle. It was clear that some of the time he handn't been spending with me, had been doing something very, very physical. I could feel that cream of flesh with my eyes, the touch of skin that is taut over muscle which comes easily to men, but is rare in women. And it was connected to a powerful stripple of muscle on his leg, that broadened out to a curve of the inner thigh, and was set against as a perfect complementary shape, the outer curve going down his other leg. He was reaching up to adjust the shower curtain, in that kind of off handed way that people who are tall enough just adjust something that is off, one of the rings had come off a hook.

But it wasn't that curve, it is only in my memory because of the next moment, where tilting his head over he said.

"You know, you could really use a shower."


Second life has those visual moments, the highs that make an addiction. The difference between second life and crack is... I'd never whore myself for crack.

One such moment for me, was when I was using a new high quality sex bed, and shifting around in camera. There was a particular angle. He was in a curled up and powerful position, that really caught the act of preparing to thrust, and uncoiled into it, I had my mouth being animated to a wide open yelp of pleasure. The two together, the oncoming male shoulder, and the wide open mouth syncronized to it, touched and tickled my senss of what the word "penetration" means. It was only a bit, the curve, the rise and fall of his back like an ocean wave rushing over me, implying a touch of chest to chest, cheek being scraped by stubble, a sound which SL did not play, but which I heard in my mind.

RL, there was a gasp from me. Being SL, it is an almost, but not quite, reproducible moment. Something about that particular client, and that particular Lillie shape. And that particular camera angle, and that particular placement of the animations on the bed.

A golden moment that rushed through my veins and explodes on the back of my eyes even now.

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