Wednesday, April 23, 2008

"There Is No Sex, In the Champagne Room."

A friend of mine sent me a YouTube link to Chris Rock's video

"There is No Sex in the Champagne Room." And you know? The song could be done for SL. I'm not clever enough to do this absolutely well, but... I could hear in the back of my mind:

Ladies and Gentleman of the Second Life™ Class of 2008, I have one piece of advice for you:

No matter what a search engine tells you, there is no rl sex, in the orgy room. Oh there's SL Sex in the orgy room. But you don't want sl sex. And there's no rl sex, in the orgy room.

Don't go to parties with weapon's policies. It may feel safe, but what about all those Patriot Nigras who are going to grief it? They know you ain't got one.

If a woman's profile says she's 22, and she acts 22. He's at least 32.

If a woman's profile says she's 30, and she act's 30, she's 55.

Take off that silly ass bling.

Linden Labs couldn't possibly be responsible for all these bugs. Microsoft did some of that shit.

Women, if your pumps don't fit exactly right. Let it slide. Why spend the next 20,000 Linden of your money, finding a better one because the back sticks out.

Threesomes, ain't nothing wrong with that.

No matter what you think of what I 'm saying. There is No RL Sex, in the orgy room.

If a newbie has a funny tag. They aren't a real newbie. Real newbies are still having too many problems finding the right click self menu, to be funny.

If a girl has a pierced part. She'll probably suck your cock.
If a guy has a pierced part. He'll probably suck your cock.

Here's a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius, you're gonna crash.
Capricorn, you're gonna crash.
Gemini, you're gonna crash, twice.
Leo. You're gonna crash.
Scorpio, you're gonna to crash fucking.

No one asks about MSN for chat.

If you have been partnered with a guy for more than four months, and he hasn't talked about buying a plane ticket, he is not rl single.

Some of the stuff I've said may not apply to you. Some of the stuff I am saying may offend you.

But no matter what Linden Labs may tell you, there is no profit in selling to newbies. Says Lillie. None.

The reason I am thinking of this is I just read Don't Blame it On Rio. It is a short breezy book with comments and interviews about African-American men who go to Rio to live the life and get sex. Many of the comments that applied to the situation of going to Rio, that you can get anything you want here very cheaply, that people who are downscale can live upscale, that people who are upscale can live downscale. But most of all, there is the respect that seems to be lacking in day to day lives. Yes the interviews talked about sex, but even when they were talking about sex, the undercurrent was respect.

A big part of Second Life, is that it takes very little to be respected. Steal people's Linden, and they will be sort of angry at you. Show them disrespect, and they will hate you.

1 comment:

  1. I especially like: If you have been partnered with a guy for more than four months, and he hasn't talked about buying a plane ticket, he is not rl single.

    Nice adaptation. You're right, it does lend itself to SL where the layers of truth and illusion are packed surprisingly close together.